Lies!

I'm not sure what this says about me as a person, but I love to lie. Not to say that I'm a compulsive lair or that I actively try to deceive people on a regular basis, because I don't (*wink*), but I get a certain amount of pleasure out of being able to stare someone down and say complete untruths. Does this make me a bad guy? Maybe. But can you honestly say that you've never told a lie that you're proud of? Or convinced someone of something towards a comedic result?

Again, I'm not specifically talking about deceiving the people close to me or even those that I only know in passing, I'm talking about those little, every day lies that come out of our mouths constantly.

"How's it going?"
"Oh, fine."

I say these words (both coming and going) at least two dozen times in a night and sometimes, yes, I am just "fine" but then there are days where I am just so fucking miserable that my first instinct is to say, "Fucking awful! How do you think I'm going?!" Of course, this would get me fired after the third or fourth customer (Let's be honest, I could probably make it to an even six before getting canned) and nobody want's to hear some young clerk wax on about his pathetic existence (barring psychologists, but they're getting paid to do it). So I lie. I speak with a smile and lie my bloody ass off so the customer can come in, get what they want, leave and I can go back to being pissed off in peace.

Let me point out that this isn't the case the vast majority of the time mind you. Most of the time I am just, "fine". But that was just one example; if I sat down and thought about I could probably list off another dozen or so lies that I tell every night and every day.

But these little lies aren't the ones I'm talking about (which begs the question, what was the point of those last two paragraphs?), I'm talking about the bigger, more substantial lies.

"What, didn't you hear? Will died..."
"Oh no guys! The theater is full and we have to sit in the front row."
"It's the god-damn zombie apocalypse out there!"

If I can pull of a lie of a certain magnitude, completely straight faced (which is a challenge, I'm a terrible liar), to wit of those around me pausing for a moment and going, "Seriously?" I feel just a little bit prouder with myself.

Does this make me a little bit of a monster? Perhaps, but at least I realize it.

DISCLAIMER:
Mike Gorgone does not, in fact, prefer lies to the truth. If anything he is far more of a fan of brutal, straight-forward honesty in all things. He is merely using this Blog to do a little introspection in a public media.

What I'm Listening to as I Write:

• Nothing Safe by Alice in Chains
• Antisleep Vol. 1 by Blue Stahli
• Wish Upon a Blackstar by Celldweller